How can mend a broken heart

With compassion and simplicity, Buddhist monk and Vietnam refugee Thich Nhat Hanh provides practices for embracing pain and finding true joy. Howard Bronson and Mike Riley lead you through recovering from the end of a romantic relationship with insights and exercises meant to help you heal and build resilience.

The hard truth of going through loss is that it can change your life forever. There will be moments when you feel overcome with heartache. But there will be others when you see a glimmer of light.

Cindy Lamothe is a freelance journalist based in Guatemala. She writes often about the intersections between health, wellness, and the science of human behavior.

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Everyone experiences stress, but not always in the same way. Learn about the types and causes of stress and practical ways to manage it better. Why does it hurt so much? Tips Recap Mending a broken heart takes self-compassion. What causes heartbreak when a relationship ends? Tips for healing a broken heart. Ready, Set, Journal! Read this next. Mourning and the 5 Stages of Grief Exploring the five stages of grief could help you understand and put into context your or your loved one's emotions after a significant loss.

The 7 Best Free Online Therapy and Mental Support Services in Online therapy with a trained mental health professional is rarely free, but our picks for free mental health services can make it easier. You may have a lot of anger around the relationship, including the way it ended. Good self-care is emotional, physical, and spiritual.

You have your own unique needs in each area, but there are some general acts of self-care that are beneficial for almost everyone, such as a nutritious diet, regular exercise, a social support system, and strategies for coping with stress, to name a few. Try to be patient, gentle, kind, and giving toward yourself. It may help to know that the pain of a break-up is not just emotional; research has shown people can also feel physical pangs of loss.

Continue to nurture relationships with friends, family, and yourself. If you feel guilt or shame about your role in a relationship that has ended, it may be hard to be a good friend to yourself as you work through these feelings.

If you find you cannot let go of a relationship or feel you are unable to cope with the loss even with support from friends and family as time goes on, you may want to seek counseling. These intrusive thoughts can slow down the process of healing and can be quite distressing.

Though it may be difficult, try not to lose perspective. No relationship is all bad, but none are perfect either. If you are glorifying the relationship or find you continue to put your ex on a pedestal, it may be a sign that you need to give yourself some emotional and perhaps physical distance.

It can also fuel preoccupation with any unresolved aspects of your relationship with them. Even if your relationship ended on a sour note, chances are, it was not all bad.

Riding out these shifts in emotions is part of the healing process. When a happy memory comes up, allow yourself to be grateful for it—then move on. You may feel it would be easier, and less painful, to simply ignore them. Following a break-up is a good time to think about your wants and needs in a romantic relationship. You may find it helpful to journal or make lists.

But recognition is the first step to making changes. Sometimes, people have a hard time coping with being single when they had become used to being part of a couple. Being on your own gives you the opportunity to focus on yourself —though this can be hard if you are used to taking care of others and generally find it easier than thinking about your own needs. Sometimes, people who aren't as confident socializing on their own are more comfortable in social situations when they're part of a couple.

The tendency to avoid social situations is often a mix of worrying about seeing an ex-partner or someone you know who might ask about the relationship combined with wanting to avoid places, activities, and people who would remind you of an ex.

Try not to isolate yourself. You may not even be looking for a relationship when love finds you , as it can show up in unexpected places. If you are looking more intentionally, be open to meeting others when you go out and choose the places and activities you enjoy.

Forgiving your ex may take time and may not come easily, especially if you were hurt or betrayed. It's important to note that forgiving someone does not mean that you condone their hurtful behavior and actions. In fact, sometimes, the act of forgiveness is not so much about the other person. Arriving at a place of forgiveness gives you permission to stop investing time and energy into a person and situation that is no longer healthy for you.

To mend a broken heart and move on, there's someone else you need to be ready to forgive: yourself. You can't change the past, but you can learn from it. Everything feels more challenging when you're dealing with depression.

Get our free guide when you sign up for our newsletter. Boelen PA, Reijntjes A. Negative cognitions in emotional problems following romantic relationship break-ups.